My Pandora Story!!
by pandora on Feb.07, 2011, under Literacy
One drisally Monday morning, I stood in the hairdressers, doing a middle-aged ladies hair. In dismay, I started to mutter to my client. All of a sudden.. a shotting pain rushed right the way up my pale body! In shock, I squeezed my arm (to get the pain away) however it didn’t go away. I dropped the hairdryer. I started to feel as wobbly as jelly, my legs began to drop. Suddenly, I fell head first on the wooden floor….
Minutes later, I began to awake. I opened one eye. I was expecting to be in the hairdressers, was I? I felt humid! Slowly, I couldn’t resist getting up.. I saw a collosal shadow in the distants! Where was I? nI found myslef in Pandora. It was radient, the astonishing trees, stood on their roots, slowly swifting in the exotic, breezy air. I was the most spectacular magic place ever seen. The tropical grass stood on ends shining.
All of a sudden, I turned around… and illumanous, mythical monotaur stared at me with his menasing eyes. I started to make eye contact with the beautiful dangerous animal. Running like a cheetar, I came close to a sharp edge of a floating cliff. Lashing I bent down, and stood firm. In haste, i his behind a magical tree. Luckily, the dragon did not see me, however the dragon fell of a non-lasting cliff!
Approaching the evil,blood red tree, I suddenly felt a soggy root slithering up my damp body. Screaming, I tried to tear the slimy rope of me, but it was to slippy. I felt myself lifting of my feet, like some fairy dust was sprinkled on me. As soon as I knew it i was in a colourful crystal clear waterfall. I was wet through!
Tick-tock! Tick-tock! I could not find a way to get out of the baby blue, darting waterfall. What was I going to do? I was getting bored by n0w. Glancing around me, a tunnel caught my eye. I carried on staggering towards it, like a tiger had found its food. Pitch black, I could not seemy way to the end of the tunnel. BANG! Seconds later, my head banged on a humungous door. Creeking, I began to open the roting, wooden door! I saw my own world again, there I was at the home! I walked back into my amazing life again. I felt like the happiest girl in the world!!
By Ellie.
March 9th, 2012 on 10:17 am
I like your description of how you were feeling and what you could see, especially your use of similies. However, i would liked to have read more about what Pandora looked like
February 12th, 2011 on 6:27 pm
Ellie – this is great! I loved the way you have described the world you found yourself in ‘soggy root slithering’ – Brill!
February 7th, 2011 on 11:12 am
i liked how you started the sentence off.
also i u could improve shinning u could put glimmering
February 7th, 2011 on 10:01 am
Wow!! I like your story because its all fits in. I also like the part when you have said; All of a sudden, I turned around… and illumanous, mythical monotaur stared at me with his menasing eyes. I like it because it tells you what you are looking at and also it helps your readers to image it in their minds.Carry on writing stories
By Murron